I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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