So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
