That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was born a porn star she said
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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