Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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