I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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