i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
