just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
