All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
