I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
