i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
