Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
