belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
