He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize