It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
