god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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