Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
