I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
