she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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