I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When did angry sex become our thing?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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