I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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