I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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