Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize