he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
