Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize