Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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