i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
