I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
