She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You smell like stripper and shame
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
