Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
