Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
