Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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