So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we have officially lost it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
