I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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