Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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