Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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