when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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