i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
