is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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