They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Boobs speak an international language.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
