fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
