i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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