You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
