peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
