Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
