Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
