u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and she was petting her beer can
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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