dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
