I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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