you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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