dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
