don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
