There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
