sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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