Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
