We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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