I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
should my penis look like a turkey
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
