you would pick up someone in the library
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize