dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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