we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
