So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
