I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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