I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
