WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
youre lurking in front of me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
