Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize