I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
