well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
