Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
