she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
