oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
