We named our party play list daddy issues
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
