proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
