I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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