you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
