He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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