that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
