The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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