I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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