Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
